Too good to be true?

its a life process where you'll meet with all sorts of people at different ages.
as we grow older, things wil tend to be more and much more complicated and so does our friend cycle will get smaller and smaller. this is the time when we feel the importance of qualities instead of quantities. each of us are hoping that we will find someone who treat us best, give us the best and full commitment, most importantly being real to us, it wouldnt be matter where this person refers to our life partner or friends or even relatives.
as we walk out from our house gate, how many of you can actually pin point on any person and assure that he's being a bad guy or the good guy. try sitting in the middle of your classroom, try to observe everyone.. how many of them are actually behaving their true colours infront of you? everyone has the same features, so, who's the bitchy ones? there will definitely be one, at least one in your life.
so, whats all this game about? who sets the rule? whats the condition to win in this game? is it true you have to learn to hypocrite, learn to be 'smart' or in other word fake, and maybe a little cunning in order to master this game? whats with all these values after all? everyone tries their very best to influence others instead of being a follower instead. so do i. sadly, looking at my condition now, i know im far, way behind this check point. i might be a little straight forward at times, and being naive enough thinking that if you're my friend and truly understands me, you wouldnt mind and those who mind dont matters. somehow, as i grow older i realised something the other way round. i could still remember how my last relationship failed, and thats mainly because i 'calculated' too much?
i wouldnt want to talk much about it, thats not the main thing. whats important and mean everything to me now is my family. im born very fortunate, since young im pampered with all loves from both my parents and so does my brothers. despite the little arguements we had when we were kids, now that i grow older i wouldnt take the effort to fight back (at times i do, depends on my mood ), i might get offended at times from what it came out from his mouth but thats ok, he still loves me. during the younger days everything seem so fun. i used to lived in a papan house for i dont know many years and the 5 of us used to sleep in one room. so what if we are poor? those are time where we get along the most, laugh together the most, and used to joke around after we switch off the light. hmm.. i miss all those moments. now that everyone grows up, own their houses, it feels like something is missing. whats worse is when your siblings start to have their own families. sometimes, i might be a little selfish by making selfish wishes. i wish all of us never grow up, all of us will forever be under our parents' wing. there's this phobia for sure, of what? you'll tend to worry that will your sibling treat you the same again after they have their own family? or this jealousy feeling when your love is divided and shared with others. anyhow, this. is. a. life. cycle.
we can never change how the way it is going to be. instead of having this thoughts, i can change it as, for instance, i'll be having another 2 new sisters! :) if they are happy with it, we should feel happy for them. but.. what if, we are not?
should we put a mask on our facee and acted like we are ok with it or try to ignore as much as possible? how long will it last? this is truly saddening looking at how gaps tend to grow even bigger right after you came in. is it true that we make conclusion too early and really misunderstand you? if this is between 1 on 1, the root problem might be on either one of you but what ifs this is not something 1 on 1. logicslly, who's the problem maker? to be honest as time goes by, things never really get fixed instead it get worse.
what should we do? how can this be solved?

so clueless, sigh. i wish you never exist. sorry.