Cutting down those craps.
Fill yourself with love all around you.
Things are not that bad afterall, im still in the learning process. :)
As it was stated as the title earlier,
Life goes on. :)
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
100th post
Its the second post of the day.
I hardly do this, 2 posts in a day. Im not an active blogger.
But i find that, i feel so suffer now. yea 2 hours different.
As you can read on the previous one, the mum called me.
And i ignored, again.
I feel bad. So I texted the mum anything?
And the mum called again.
I feel so dejected after listening to the call.
Miss the mum. Miss the moment when yl, me, the twin sisters and the mum went dinner togther, had lok lok together.
With the dad, had sushi king at Auto City. I could remember, that was the first time I went dinner with his family.
And, the first time he sat on my bro's car with my fam went dinner was on last November. :)
It was during my dad's birthday, I had some competition at Penang too.
He followed me early morning to school, and followed my teacher's car behind to some places at Penang.
Then he took me to Gurney. I was angry at him cause I was wearing my school uniform.
He planned to celebrate my birthday on that day. As you know my dad's birthday is 3 days earlier than mine.
And he was thinking on the 17th itself, we were not having any holiday, so there wont be any celebration.
But, he doesnt know that I actually dont mind if he celebrate with me the postpone one?
We ended up the day kinda odd.
He stayed at my house, watch tv whole day do nothing.
I feel so sorry thinking back now.
I admit, after the mum called, for now, i wish to return and find him now. NOW.
My tears started to roll down again.
hahahahha.
And i dont expect my 100th post gona be so depressed one.
Thanks for reading.
I hardly do this, 2 posts in a day. Im not an active blogger.
But i find that, i feel so suffer now. yea 2 hours different.
As you can read on the previous one, the mum called me.
And i ignored, again.
I feel bad. So I texted the mum anything?
And the mum called again.
I feel so dejected after listening to the call.
Miss the mum. Miss the moment when yl, me, the twin sisters and the mum went dinner togther, had lok lok together.
With the dad, had sushi king at Auto City. I could remember, that was the first time I went dinner with his family.
And, the first time he sat on my bro's car with my fam went dinner was on last November. :)
It was during my dad's birthday, I had some competition at Penang too.
He followed me early morning to school, and followed my teacher's car behind to some places at Penang.
Then he took me to Gurney. I was angry at him cause I was wearing my school uniform.
He planned to celebrate my birthday on that day. As you know my dad's birthday is 3 days earlier than mine.
And he was thinking on the 17th itself, we were not having any holiday, so there wont be any celebration.
But, he doesnt know that I actually dont mind if he celebrate with me the postpone one?
We ended up the day kinda odd.
He stayed at my house, watch tv whole day do nothing.
I feel so sorry thinking back now.
I admit, after the mum called, for now, i wish to return and find him now. NOW.
My tears started to roll down again.
hahahahha.
And i dont expect my 100th post gona be so depressed one.
Thanks for reading.
Untitled
hello bloggers.
I do wonder at times which homo would so dumb pass by here and actually waste their few minutes time reading all my emo/lousy/pathetic or whatsoever posts that i posted or going to post.
Each and everytime i came across here, it would bring back reminiscing memories. As usual, I started to blog when it happen that WE got somehow started too. I wouldnt say that I've truly forget him now, that i hate him, remind me nothing of him or anything, cause its real hard people. :)
To those that can make it within a split second, you own my applause, honestly.
While for those that HAVENT encounter any of it, you'll NEVER expect how could this be.
Yep, all bullshits. Whats the point of deleting everything that you can see, BUT you're not deleting them at what you cant see, like, in your heart.
How pathetic. The reminder to self, pray hard stuff and all.
Somehow or what, at least I wont really show others how emo am I already now. Cause you're tired and so do I.
Sooner or later, I've realise that I couldnt change anything of it already. Cause I know once a person change, you wont be able to tie him up and lock him? It's all gona depend on him now.
I feel sad. But Im more sad if I actually fail in my stpm? Or end up at some useless local U, or even not selected by the government? How?
He's gona take care of me? HAHA. Sorry, bullshits.
I admited I did live in my own fairytale with him, i trusted like a 3 years old child from whatever he said. Yet, Im still blaming myself for causing all these. Maybe I dont really know how to be a perfect or even a good girlf. I dont know how to pretend to be 'xiao nu ren', like he always wanted since last time. Im just too self centered, and I want to be the winner. I dont know how to treat him gently or pull him back when the time comes, I suppose.
Im really hoping that he could give me another chance and I could do better. But, too late.
Everyone has been concerning about me. Thanks people. Seriously, I can see things so clear now. That there are actually so many people who LOVES me. :))))) I know I owe you guys this. Im surely gona return it. Count on me! Whenever or whoever that needs me, I'll be there for you people. For sure.
I hope that I dont look back.
OH GREAT, THE MUM JUST CALLED ME AGAIN, AND I IGNORED, AGAIN. sigh.
Should I pick up, actually?
=(
I do wonder at times which homo would so dumb pass by here and actually waste their few minutes time reading all my emo/lousy/pathetic or whatsoever posts that i posted or going to post.
Each and everytime i came across here, it would bring back reminiscing memories. As usual, I started to blog when it happen that WE got somehow started too. I wouldnt say that I've truly forget him now, that i hate him, remind me nothing of him or anything, cause its real hard people. :)
To those that can make it within a split second, you own my applause, honestly.
While for those that HAVENT encounter any of it, you'll NEVER expect how could this be.
Yep, all bullshits. Whats the point of deleting everything that you can see, BUT you're not deleting them at what you cant see, like, in your heart.
How pathetic. The reminder to self, pray hard stuff and all.
Somehow or what, at least I wont really show others how emo am I already now. Cause you're tired and so do I.
Sooner or later, I've realise that I couldnt change anything of it already. Cause I know once a person change, you wont be able to tie him up and lock him? It's all gona depend on him now.
I feel sad. But Im more sad if I actually fail in my stpm? Or end up at some useless local U, or even not selected by the government? How?
He's gona take care of me? HAHA. Sorry, bullshits.
I admited I did live in my own fairytale with him, i trusted like a 3 years old child from whatever he said. Yet, Im still blaming myself for causing all these. Maybe I dont really know how to be a perfect or even a good girlf. I dont know how to pretend to be 'xiao nu ren', like he always wanted since last time. Im just too self centered, and I want to be the winner. I dont know how to treat him gently or pull him back when the time comes, I suppose.
Im really hoping that he could give me another chance and I could do better. But, too late.
Everyone has been concerning about me. Thanks people. Seriously, I can see things so clear now. That there are actually so many people who LOVES me. :))))) I know I owe you guys this. Im surely gona return it. Count on me! Whenever or whoever that needs me, I'll be there for you people. For sure.
I hope that I dont look back.
OH GREAT, THE MUM JUST CALLED ME AGAIN, AND I IGNORED, AGAIN. sigh.
Should I pick up, actually?
=(
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Tired
I feel tired. Wanting to give up. Knowing it musnt.
You gave hope, then demolish it.
As usual, you're always like that since the first year I know you.
In my journal, this happened not only for now, even before we start everything, You Are Like That.
Is there any point of continuing? If I could, I really want to give up on you. I've been lacking in my studies, for sure.
I think naively, having the thoughts that everything is going to get back on line, normal like always and i shall start concentrating on my work.
I know I shouldnt put the blame on that i couldnt focus on my things. Depends on me whether I want or not only right? I know you people might have this thoughts seeing me like this.
I just dont know how to express this. When you're in my situation, you might know it. Or maybe you'll handle it much better.
I've been planning and thinking too much. I know it shouldnt.
I know if the things are yours, then it would be yours. If anyone out there wants to think of me, then you will think of me, even if Im not by your side.
My emotional intelligence seriously can reach a NEGATIVE VALUE.
Why is that I still force on something that really not meant for it, or not worth it for me to think of?
I just need to understand you more. To get into whats really on your mind. Although you've said it, but why is that i chose not to trust you for being so mean and still think that you're actually not like that. Maybe its due to you're unpredictable. You'll gave me something when I least expect, then walk off without me noticing. Hows that for me to control everything?
Everyone is telling me to really let go. Everyone can see things more clear. Everyone can tell me everyday to stay strong and leave it alone.
But im sorry. Im just a little too stubborn to listen for those advices.
Our timing is ALWAYS, NEVER be right.
Im not sure if your stress on your work affects those word you're telling me. Is that true? Or you really mean it? Is it worth for wasting your time on someone that had been hurting you again and again? You've been telling me its for my own good, this is just an excuse for you or you're really doing it for me? Can anyone tell me?
Always being so dependant on others. I feel myself so useless.
I just dont know what to do now.
Sigh.
IGNORE THIS POST IF YOU HAPPEN TO COME ACROSS MY BLOG. THIS IS AN EMOTIONALLY BREAKDOWN POST AGAIN. I DONT WANA RUIN YOU PEOPLE'S MOOD. I JUST NEED TO EXPRESS THEM OUT. SORRY IF YOU GUYS GOT ANNOYED.
You gave hope, then demolish it.
As usual, you're always like that since the first year I know you.
In my journal, this happened not only for now, even before we start everything, You Are Like That.
Is there any point of continuing? If I could, I really want to give up on you. I've been lacking in my studies, for sure.
I think naively, having the thoughts that everything is going to get back on line, normal like always and i shall start concentrating on my work.
I know I shouldnt put the blame on that i couldnt focus on my things. Depends on me whether I want or not only right? I know you people might have this thoughts seeing me like this.
I just dont know how to express this. When you're in my situation, you might know it. Or maybe you'll handle it much better.
I've been planning and thinking too much. I know it shouldnt.
I know if the things are yours, then it would be yours. If anyone out there wants to think of me, then you will think of me, even if Im not by your side.
My emotional intelligence seriously can reach a NEGATIVE VALUE.
Why is that I still force on something that really not meant for it, or not worth it for me to think of?
I just need to understand you more. To get into whats really on your mind. Although you've said it, but why is that i chose not to trust you for being so mean and still think that you're actually not like that. Maybe its due to you're unpredictable. You'll gave me something when I least expect, then walk off without me noticing. Hows that for me to control everything?
Everyone is telling me to really let go. Everyone can see things more clear. Everyone can tell me everyday to stay strong and leave it alone.
But im sorry. Im just a little too stubborn to listen for those advices.
Our timing is ALWAYS, NEVER be right.
Im not sure if your stress on your work affects those word you're telling me. Is that true? Or you really mean it? Is it worth for wasting your time on someone that had been hurting you again and again? You've been telling me its for my own good, this is just an excuse for you or you're really doing it for me? Can anyone tell me?
Always being so dependant on others. I feel myself so useless.
I just dont know what to do now.
Sigh.
IGNORE THIS POST IF YOU HAPPEN TO COME ACROSS MY BLOG. THIS IS AN EMOTIONALLY BREAKDOWN POST AGAIN. I DONT WANA RUIN YOU PEOPLE'S MOOD. I JUST NEED TO EXPRESS THEM OUT. SORRY IF YOU GUYS GOT ANNOYED.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Final
Oh yeahh people,
World Cup Finale finally here!
Thought of watching it, but.......... Tmr aint holiday!!
Pathetic sial..
Went over his place earlier.
Ahhhhhhhhhh. What I want mel?
You can tahan all these?
I guess, I cant. Thats my nature. When I really care for someone.
So...? Sigh.
Okay, tmr onwards going to be...
FOR-TEEEN MORE WEEKS!
:(
hmmm?
World Cup Finale finally here!
Thought of watching it, but.......... Tmr aint holiday!!
Pathetic sial..
Went over his place earlier.
Ahhhhhhhhhh. What I want mel?
You can tahan all these?
I guess, I cant. Thats my nature. When I really care for someone.
So...? Sigh.
Okay, tmr onwards going to be...
FOR-TEEEN MORE WEEKS!
:(
hmmm?
Friday, July 9, 2010
Cut down on words
Shutup, and do it.Realised that I've been a very very bored type of blogger i am.
A number of my classmates and friends asked me why did I make my blog as private one already. Sorry people, altho you cant read my apologies here but to apologise at here make myself feels better. I tau sudah la~ :)
I chose to set it into private probably due to Im shy and afraid to let some of you know that im being so emo ba. Whatever it is, tho im not okay yet, but I know im getting better.
FIF-TEEN MORE WEEKS TILL MY BIG DAY.
Been hearing this from everywhere, anywhere, anyone. Ugh...
Keep your mind on track and set a goal and go for it mel!
Thats all for now peeps. :D:D
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
RainBow
When you see a rainbow,
Close your eyes,
Take a deep breath,
Feels the air,
And make your wish.
:)
*So I allow you to make any of your wish here in my blog, looking at the imitated rainbow. :D
Sunday, July 4, 2010
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