Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Untitled

hello bloggers.
I do wonder at times which homo would so dumb pass by here and actually waste their few minutes time reading all my emo/lousy/pathetic or whatsoever posts that i posted or going to post.
Each and everytime i came across here, it would bring back reminiscing memories. As usual, I started to blog when it happen that WE got somehow started too. I wouldnt say that I've truly forget him now, that i hate him, remind me nothing of him or anything, cause its real hard people. :)
To those that can make it within a split second, you own my applause, honestly.
While for those that HAVENT encounter any of it, you'll NEVER expect how could this be.
Yep, all bullshits. Whats the point of deleting everything that you can see, BUT you're not deleting them at what you cant see, like, in your heart.
How pathetic. The reminder to self, pray hard stuff and all.
Somehow or what, at least I wont really show others how emo am I already now. Cause you're tired and so do I.
Sooner or later, I've realise that I couldnt change anything of it already. Cause I know once a person change, you wont be able to tie him up and lock him? It's all gona depend on him now.
I feel sad. But Im more sad if I actually fail in my stpm? Or end up at some useless local U, or even not selected by the government? How?
He's gona take care of me? HAHA. Sorry, bullshits.
I admited I did live in my own fairytale with him, i trusted like a 3 years old child from whatever he said. Yet, Im still blaming myself for causing all these. Maybe I dont really know how to be a perfect or even a good girlf. I dont know how to pretend to be 'xiao nu ren', like he always wanted since last time. Im just too self centered, and I want to be the winner. I dont know how to treat him gently or pull him back when the time comes, I suppose.
Im really hoping that he could give me another chance and I could do better. But, too late.
Everyone has been concerning about me. Thanks people. Seriously, I can see things so clear now. That there are actually so many people who LOVES me. :))))) I know I owe you guys this. Im surely gona return it. Count on me! Whenever or whoever that needs me, I'll be there for you people. For sure.


I hope that I dont look back.
OH GREAT, THE MUM JUST CALLED ME AGAIN, AND I IGNORED, AGAIN. sigh.
Should I pick up, actually?


=(

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